Love by Jaeson Ma

Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is.
But I'm a tell you what true love is.
Love is not what you see in the movies.
Its not the ecstasy, its not what you see in that scene
you know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, true love is sacrifice.
Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself
Love is selfless not selfish. Love is God and God is love.
Love is when you lay down your life for another
Whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister
Its even laying down your life for your enemies,
That's unthinkable, but think about that
Love is true
Think.

Chorus
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast
It is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
You see love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres
Love never fails. Love is everlasting
Its eternal, it goes on and on, it goes beyond time
Love is the only thing that will last when you die
But ask the question why? Do you have love?

Chorus
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love

There is no greater love than this than he who lays down his life for his friends
Now are you willing to lay down your life for your friends?
You're probably willing to lay down your life for your mother
your father, or your best friends
But are you willing to lay down your life for even those that hate you?
I'm going to tell you who did that
The definition of love is Jesus Christ. He is love
The nails in his hands, the thorns in his brow
Hanging on a cross for your sin my sins
That is love he died for you and me while we still hated him
That is love
God is true love, and if you don't know this love
Now is the time to know, perfect love

Chorus
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love
(repeat)

(video)

Michiana Youth Ministry's "Love of God" retreat

Most of you know very little about the retreat program that I involved myself with this weekend (my amateur photos are available), so I thought I would share a bit about it with you. Ron & Emily Collins are heavily committed to the Love of God (LOG) retreat that Michiana Youth Ministries cultivates multiple times per year, and I decided to squeeze it into my schedule this fall. They've spoken highly of it, and I was curious about what the Lord is up to in that neck of the woods, so when it appeared that their planning schedule could cooperate with my schedule, I decided to commit to help with one of the retreats. It is a student-run retreat in many ways, with a small team of adults, mostly volunteers, that guides the students in building & running it.

LOG is loosely based on the cursillo retreat weekend, adapted to a high school-age and largely protestant audience. Represented on the weekend were teens from 8-10 different churches, including non-denoms, Methodists, Episcopalians, and Catholics. The director of the program is a Presbyterian minister named Terry McBride and he brought the program over from California and has since formed it into a self-sufficient program, drawing new retreatants from the friendships of previous retreatants, as they work to put on a retreat often within the same year that they themselves attended one. The retreat is designed to overwhelm the retreatants with a very visible tangible love that the team offers, and points to God as the source of that love. This consists of a variety of games, activities, exercises, meals, discussions, testimonials, talks, songs, and methods of personal and communal prayer and encouragement.

The basic structure was familiar to me after having been involved with the kairos retreat program in college, and participated in Christ Renews His Parish a couple years ago. These retreats all have the same basic goal but with different audiences. It was inspiring to see the successes of this method this weekend. I'm not sure how strong the followup is, but in many ways that is the ongoing responsibility of the respective teams to nurture healthy relationships with their retreatants in response to the new friendships that have been formed. Elitism on various levels needs to be avoided.

On a personal level, I got to share some perspective on ecumenism that I've gained through my life in the People of Praise. When I discovered that protestant communion was a core part of the retreat, I was a little bit concerned. Both of the other retreat programs I've been involved with, being Catholic programs, integrated mass & the Eucharist into the weekend, so I should not have been surprised to discover a protestant interpretation in a primarily protestant retreat. But LOG practices ecumenism, and so I expressed my concern that such a specific form of "remembering" the Last Supper was introducing a conflicting message which is not the unity that genuine ecumenism pursues. I didn't particularly expect any change because of the emotional attachment so many young Christians were experiencing to the program in it's current form, but was happy to hear that they did indeed make some adjustments! It will be an ongoing conversation, but I am excited for the increased unity and faith maturity this can mean for so many youth in the region.

I don't know yet whether I will commit to this program in the future due to the finite capacity of my calendar. It's very apparent that God is working in the hearts of many youth through the efforts of Terry McBride and the adults and teens involved in LOG. I'm really happy I went through this instance of it and I look forward to growing in friendship with those I met through this.

We love because He first loved us

Yesterday I entered into a deeper commitment with the members of the People of Praise. After spending the past few years discerning whether God was calling me to spend the rest of my life in it, I was invited by the community to do just that. Sarah, Laura, and Trish also did this at the same time I did. My parents came out for it! After being embraced and prayed over by many many people, we were each given an opportunity to reflect on our decision. Sarah has posted her sharing here, and Laura and Trish gave awesome glimpses of the events leading up to their decisions too. Here is what I shared with the hundreds of local branch members and visitors:

I don't really know how to organize my thoughts about what this commitment means to me. When I moved here a few years ago, I only vaguely knew a handful of people here, but that was less important to me than what I already knew about all of you. I knew in my mind that there would be a bunch of saints here, doing something to lay down their lives for one another. I wasn't really sure what that looked like. I knew that I'd be sharing what I'm thankful for at Lord's Days, but that's about all I really knew about what I'd be doing.

Since then, flesh has filled the skeleton of ideas that was in my head. I've prayed with all of you, and for all of you, and I've experienced countless opportunities to grow closer to you. You've changed, from a fabled Christian community that I knew OF, to an intimate Christian community that I know. Parents, you've trusted me with your children. You've encouraged me in youth activities ranging from kindergarteners to high schoolers, from soccer to camp to paintball to retreats. Speaking of retreats, if any of the guys who have retreated at my parents' cabin want to thank them personally, they're here with us today.

I am a product of the Muncie branch of the People of Praise. I love the people in Muncie as much as my family, because they offered me something called disinterested friendship throughout my whole childhood. That means they each very clearly desired friendship with me with no ulterior motives, no interests other than friendship. As I entered college, I still had very little clue as to how rare this is. Away at college, I discovered how many of my peers doubted the love of their own parents. Can you imagine that? Or can you imagine that being an utterly foreign reality to me?

The Holy Spirit was at work in me through all of this. I was baptized in the Spirit at High Country Adventure #1 as a high schooler, and Christ has reigned in me more and more since then. Each day a little more. I've discovered the joy of valuing friendship over comfort, and integrity over appearances. Working for the LaSalle Company and One:Ten, I've discovered what it's like when management cares more about me than about what I've done. At our office on-site at the Work College, I've discovered a level of intimacy amongst co-workers and peers that I never even thought possible. In fact, as a member of an area, but working in the midst of the the Work College, I often feel like a double agent. I get to soak up the wisdom of each group, and report back to the other group.

Hopefully I will get up here more often and tell you about my life and what God is doing in it. For now I want to thank my Mom & Dad for getting me started, and all of you for carrying the torch. You are daily fanning the Spirit into life more and more in me. A few verses from 1 John 4 I wanted to read are:

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. ... We love because he first loved us.

So.. thank you for offering me this love, with your words and your lives!

Sharing

This afternoon at our People of Praise branch meeting, Paul & Andrea Kane walked to the back of the room. There were a variety of furtive looks toward the back where she was. I tried not to be distracted from the meeting, but it was very apparent that we all indeed were distracted. It was then announced that she was suffering from a kidney stone attack, and we all turned and extended our hands and prayed for her. We then continued with the meeting. Toward the end, she returned to her seat and appeared to be back to herself. Amidst the final song, there was a lot of cheering at her return.

Of course, my first reaction to seeing her was joy at her return, and joy that she was able to raise her arms and praise God while just previously she was laying prostrate on the ground in pain.

But my second, and enduring reaction is my experience of the joy and relief that flooded throughout the room. I guess I'm an observer at heart, but I couldn't help but stand "outside" the shared experience and marvel at it itself. In fact, it seemed to strike me even more, both at first glance, and onward, more than Andrea's actual relief. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy her pain went away, but I guess I am more happy at what that reduction in pain resulted in. As a body of friends, we shared in Andrea's pain, and in doing so, we shared even more fully in her relief. It flowed through us like a wind.

Earlier in the meeting, Linda Porto had given us a word from the Lord that she had received. It was expressed more fully in a few sentences, but the first sentence was, "Because of you, my people, I am not alone in my suffering."

Summer '09 begins

These last weeks have not fit a mold. I attended People of Praise South Bend's summer camp for a week. It was my 2nd year of camp as an adult, and it was similar yet very different from last year. See my photos for a glimpse of the week. I won't provide an exhaustive rundown of the week, apart from my excitement that my team of unlikely winners WON tournament tuesday and I don't think I've ever won so much! I'll post the list of all the people that were on my team soon. Here is a little sharing that I read at our last branch meeting:

I had a blast with the 15 5th graders. I had the same boys last year, so it was a great chance to see what a year had done to each of them. For the most part they had become stronger and more confident. Helping me out was Mike Wacker from the brotherhood, as well as Dominic Raciti, John Feeks, and Patrick Couch.

There are plenty of stories about each of the boys stepping up and becoming even stronger this week, and about my counselors responding to our needs without hesitation. But I wanted to share about our evening prayertime on Wednesday night.

Each night of the week, we gathered together in one end of the cabin, and reflected on the day. As you can imagine, it was often hard to have only one person speaking at a time, as eager as they all were to qualify the events of the day; every day at camp is totally different from every other day! Then we would try to discuss struggles of the day, and lay hands on guys who wanted to be healed of specific things.

On Wednesday night, Mike told the boys that everything we do is a decision to be in Jesus' camp, or to not be. If you want to be in Jesus' camp, we can pray with you right now for that to happen. Who wants to do that? Immediately a couple boys said, "I do.". Then we all layed hands on and prayed over each boy individually. Ultimately about eight boys asked for that. The five counselors, all present despite it being late enough to be staff social time, took turns in leading the prayer for each boy.

I just wanted to honor and thank the 4 other guys for their courage and strength in loving our group of boys! It was a huge blessing for me to get to be a part of it, and the 5th graders have had a new opportunity to respond to God's love! Praise God!

Immediately after camp, I trekked down to Charlotte via the south shore train, CTA blue line, and O'Hare, to witness my niece Ella Grace's baptism! It was my first chance to meet her and I'm so excited to know her! Took some pictures there too.

Then these last couple weeks it has been really the first hit of summerish weather, and I have been eating it up. Increased running, slalom skied with my mom, and lots of time with friends including visitors Mike & Jess, and Josh, in town from Cali & Shreveport. I'm just now getting over some burn from a long sunny afternoon on a Lake Michigan beach on Sunday. The day before, I went on a Pentecost Seminar in the branch here, and am so grateful that I was able to share in the experience with many friends, both in the PoP and otherwise! Summer camp's slogan was, "Led by the Spirit", and this verse was also at the heart of the seminar:

Because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. - Romans 8:14-17

focus

cloud as far as the eye can see
what do they mean to me
how can they always be
oh so free

look up at the sky will you
take a moment and drink
the scene flowing around you
in something far more than ink

i take my moment, i realign my thoughts
with a simple glance upward, the face changes
the brow unfurrows, the eyes widen
the combat stance opens

what are we here?
am i even here?
there is something great at work here
as i gaze at everything not here

the clouds they dance on
swirling about, repainting themselves
on a canvas of atmosphere
arrayed all around us

widen your perspective
open your eyes
love what we've been given
and seek to know him more and more

Innocence leads to broken jaw

This is a story from my friend K. If you know who I'm talking about, please don't use his name in the comments or I'll have to delete them. If you'd like to know who it is, feel free to email me and ask.

---

http://www.southbendtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090520/NEWS01/905200314

Major facts are just wrong:

Both men eventually pulled into the Speedway gas station at Edison and South Bend Avenue, police said, and about 30 seconds later a third vehicle, a black Dodge, pulled in as well, blocking the victim from leaving.

Intending to apologize, the victim exited his vehicle, police said. He was met by the driver of the SUV, who punched him several times in the mouth, knocking him unconscious.

I had my seatbelt on the whole time, and I wasn't punched by the SUV driver. I was sucker punched by his buddy from the second car while I was paying attention to the driver of the suv who was walking around yelling.

---

This all happened in the early hours of Sunday morning. Thankfully, K had a buddy in the car, D, who was able to accompany him to the Medpoint. I know I am not the only one whose first reaction was strong anger toward the men that decided to treat K that way. I could just picture K being compliant and trying to rectify the situation of him cutting someone off, and what he got in return for it. I am proud of him for making that effort in the first place. I admire that he didn't just shrug off his mistake and keep going. I wish I could say that I have EVER responded like that! But when he did respond like that, he is taken advantage of. I just hope that K does not lose his compassion for fellow drivers. More caution will be necessary, but not less love!

Indy Mini '09

Friday at 5:55pm I left work and drove over to Sheila, Sarah, & Liz's house, where 8 of us gathered to load into a couple of cars and drive to Indianapolis. Along the way, I made numerous last-minute calls to arrange substitutes for the youth soccer program Saturday morning in South Bend. I also had a few phone calls with J-T and Ryan in Indy as they attempted to pickup required packets for each of us before 9pm. It turns out Kinkos will not let you print out a page containing 8 photocopied drivers licenses, two of which were from my Dad & his co-worker Darrell in Muncie, who gave us their own registrations to the sold out race. We were all going to run or watch the Indy Mini Marathon & 5k.

We made it to the triangle, the People of Praise members living together on the north side of Indy near IUPUI. Liz, Sheila, & Allesha were dropped off with Trish at the women's household and Pete G, Pete T, Ricky, Kyle, & I walked across the street to an empty house. J-T & Ryan are hard workers, yet had made their home available, which was perfect for us to all go upstairs and roll out our sleeping bags in some common space together. It was about a mile and a half away from the race activities happening on the south side of IUPUI. 35,000 people register for the half marathon, 4,000 for the 5k. Liz & Trish dropped us off nearby, and we all squeezed into our "corrals" where the organizers have attempted to roughly line us up in massive groups based on how fast we've guessed we'll run it. After the gun went off, the tide of runners slowly crept forward. Some from our group made it over the start line 2 minutes later. Others (myself included) came by at 12 minutes, and still more went by at 35 minutes. Quite the procession!

It was an amazing race, with countless bands of all types lining the streets. I was never more than a few feet away from other runners. Jam packed. You'd better like other people if you run this race. David Z ran with my Dad's registration, and even though he started a good 10 minutes before me, I ended up crossing the finish line only a good 9 minutes & 50 seconds after him. In other words, I beat him by 10 seconds! Too bad our separation in corrals meant we didn't actually run together! Too bad he didn't actually train. ;-) I had started w/ Pete T, and he beat me by a few minutes. I ended up running it in 1 hr, 46 minutes, 46 seconds, for an 8 min 9 second mile pace.

We all gathered at a designated meeting spot afterward, and more POP'ers were there who had run or had come to see us. We reminisced in the experience and got to catch up with physically distant friends. Then we walked back to the houses, taking our sweet time on exhausted legs. Trish "threw together" a chicken salad lunch for us, and then we eventually made it to the canal walkway downtown for another leisurely walk with a pit stop for gelato in the middle. Then we drove to the Indy branch community center, which I actually hadn't been to before even though it's been in use for a few years. It's a beautiful facility, and it was being used for Jenny Sergio's graduation party. I don't really know her but it was a great opportunity to see all of her loved ones honoring her and congratulating her. Though originally from SB, she had lived in household with an Indy family for years, and many sharings testified to God hard at work through her presence in the branch. The biggest one being that her household went through a terrifying cancer ordeal and Jenny sacrificed her time and energy to love the family in many tangible ways.

We all were exhausted for the drive home. In my car, Sheila proved to be the best liar when we played "2 truths and a lie". :-P Though it is a game of deception, it's also a fun way to get to know people, if you allow it to lead to more conversation about the things you say.

Marcus & Bekah Nayo!

This weekend 2 friends of mine in the People of Praise got married. Marcus is originally from Togo, Africa, and Bekah is from around here. Marcus has been here for less than a year, after having lived in NYC for awhile. He is in my men's group, and I have enjoyed getting to know him since he's been here. For posterity, here is what I shared with him at his bachelor party. I always have to write stuff like this down, because I cannot think when I'm in front of people. Someday I'll be able to. But for now, I have this stuff written down which makes it easy to save too. It's kinda ironic because you'll only get to see this stuff until I get good enough at it that I don't need to write it.

Marcus, if your family were here with us tonight, what would they say? Would they allow you to stay here, or would they try to bring you back home? Would they understand what sort of life you have chosen to live here? What stories would they tell us about you?

I want to tell you how excited I am that I can call you my brother. I don't know very much about your family yet, but I do wonder what your family is like. They helped make you who you are, and you are an incredibly strong man and also one of the most peaceful men I know. That is what makes me wonder what they're like. It also makes me so excited to be growing in friendship with you!

All of us here are your brothers, and we are eager to share our lives with you. God has great plans for our brotherhood! Together, as his sons, we will stretch ourselves, and depend on one another, and depend on Him.

I am amazed at how much you stretched yourself to leave your home, leave what is familiar to you, and come here to Indiana to be with your wife. I am amazed that you would enter so openly into her life, out of a true and genuine love for her. Your example of love and sacrifice is a perfect model for me to learn from. The way that you live shows me the way that Jesus lives, and I want to thank you for that.

Marcus, may God bless you and be your strength! May He bind you and Bekah into one and shine forth into the world more brightly through you! I can't wait to know you more and more!

Why do you twitter?

Why do I?

There is the useful reason: I enjoy knowing what my friends are up to, what's on their minds, and twitter lowers the technological barrier to that. The converse is true, and so I quickly hammer out a snapshot of my state of being, putting no thought into it.

Then there is the vain reason: I am interested in eliciting some specific perception from my friends. I have even a broader scope: I can elicit a perception from the readers of my blog, and from my 400+ facebook contacts. In other words, I use it as a sort of platform, but when I try to stick to the "What are you doing?" question, it is a platform thats all about me.

Then there is the lazy reason: This manifests itself rather as a form of loneliness. My thoughts swirl about me, and I recognize my need for friendship. I want to reach out and open myself to other people; in fact I need to. Everything I say on twitter is something that really belongs in my everyday conversation, and the frequency and time in which they take place indicates a void in my social existence.

These are just a few directions that twitter can go in.

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour. - Henry David Thoreau